What about my less-than utmost for his highest?

I've written before about RA Dickey: the Christian, VFL, Academic All-American, Star Wars nerd who currently pitches for the Toronto Blue Jays.  The pitcher in my family is somewhat of a fan but can't fully embrace him because pitchers who are known for throwing knuckleballs are not glamorous enough to be heroes to aspiring heat-throwers.

View image | gettyimages.com

But Tuesday, RA Dickey became my personal favorite current baseball player, and will likely join Mr. Hank Aaron in the Elizabeth Pemberton Hall of Fame for Baseball Players Who Are Also Awesome Human Beings (not to be confused with The Derek Zoolander School for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Want to Do Other Stuff Good Too).

In his book Wherever I Wind Up, Dickey talks about how, before a game, he prays that God be glorified in his performance.  Not an unusual thing to hear a Christian athlete say, but Dickey points out that he did this in his first major league appearance for the Texas Rangers in 2006 and gave up six home runs in three and a half innings, setting an MLB record that he never intended to set.

After bouncing around between the Minor leagues and a few MLB teams, Dickey had a remarkable year in 2012.  He was a pitching phenomenon and was named to the NL All Star team from the New York Mets.  His book was released and he had the platform to discuss sexual abuse he was subjected to as a child and how finally confronting all of the ugliness in his past freed him to live a more authentic life in Christ.  It seemed that authentic life led to worldly success, as he won the National League Cy Young award that year.

Since that time he led a fairly quiet life with the Toronto Blue Jays, pitching on a regular rotation as the only knuckleballer in the MLB.  That is, until this postseason, where he was named the starter in the American League Championship Series on Tuesday, October 20.  

If this were a movie starring Kirk Cameron, Dickey would have pitched a perfect game and given all the credit to God in his post-game interview with Erin Andrews.  (Actually, if this had been a movie starring Kirk Cameron, all this would have happened in game 7 of the World Series.)  But guess what happened in real life?  He gave up four runs in the first inning of the game, and another in the second before he was replaced in the third inning.  The Blue Jays lost to the Kansas City Royals 14-2.  You can read more about it here:

R.A. Dickey implodes in ALCS Game 4, and the Blue Jays-Mets trade looks lopsided

Sidenote:  I have real problem with a lot of Christian movies because they present a view of the Christian life that isn't very realistic to me.  Yes, the plots do present problems that have to be dealt with, but it seems to me that they seem to be resolved by God answering a prayer in a way that perfectly wraps up the story in under 120 minutes.  That hasn't been my experience, very rarely have situations been resolved by God granting my wishes as expressed in prayer.  Most often, I feel his presence as I lie in a crumpled, defeated heap, having begged and beseeched him for my version of the perfect outcome.  I hear him say "I’ve got you, and I’ve got a plan for you that is far better than the one you’ve imagined for yourself."

This is why RA Dickey is my favorite current baseball player, because I'm sure that if Erin Andrews were to interview him after the game he would say that God is glorified even though the performance wasn't very glorious.  I’m certain that he knows that God doesn't want the Hollywood ending, he wants the ending where he has a relationship with RA Dickey despite the final score.  

There is a quote in Rachel Held Evans' book Searching for Sunday that clarifies this point so perfectly.  Discussing the failure of a church plant she and some friends had passionately nurtured but could not grow, she says

Church is a moment in time when the kingdom of God draws near, when a meal, a story, a song, an apology, and even a failure is made holy by the presence of Jesus among us and within us.  (emphasis mine)

We don't glorify God with perfection or victory, or in miraculous performances.  We glorify God when we welcome Jesus in to our failures.  I’m still a little uncomfortable starting up this blog again because even though my heart knows that this whole thing is about the journey not the destination, my head knows that the destination is essential for the journey.  And I’m not sure if, or when I’ll reach that destination.  But my goal is to glorify God whether I make it or not.

The Turtle is Back in the Race!

Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.

- James Bryant Conant

A couple of very kind people have mentioned to me that they missed my blog.  (They are either kind, or extremely desperate for entertainment.)  And I've wanted to write, but was a little bit embarassed to do so since I quit running.  As I was preparing to blog again, I Googled "turtle quotes" for inspiration (since I am fully embracing my verrrrrry slow pace as a runner), and found the above quote from James Bryant Conant.  How fitting, as I prepare to stick my neck out physically and emotionally  again.

A few weeks ago I spent Sunday morning at our second church home, the baseball field.  Some could accurately argue that this may well be our first church home, since we seem to end up here more often than not on Sunday mornings.  The sky was beautiful, the temperature was just right, Jay was pitching for the first time since throwing a perfect game and a shutout two weeks before, Will had friends to play with and didn't have his head in an electronic device.  Everything seemed "perfect."  Psalms 96:12 popped into my head:  "Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them; let all the trees of the forest sing for joy!"  I snapped this picture and posted it on Facebook with Psalms 96:12 and just knew that Jay would pick the opposing player off of second base, the team would win a tournament, we would celebrate at Cardin's Drive-In with a peanut butter milkshake and all would be right with the world.  I was trying to promote joy and light among my Facebook friends!

Within a minute of posting that picture, things started to go downhill.  The other team caught fire, hitting and scoring several runs.  Jay lost confidence and was benched.  It got worse.  The second game of the day was uglier and we altered the purpose of peanut butter milkshakes from celebration to drowning our sorrows.  Shortly after placing our orders, the coach and players from the second team showed up at Cardin's.  We sullenly drank our consolation milkshakes in the shadow of their celebration and I vowed to never post anything positive about a sporting event until it was over.  (Which has been remarkably helpful during Tennessee's football season!)  

Looking back, I can see that the fields and everything in them were still jubilant, the trees of the forest still sang for joy.  It was still a beautiful morning in a beautiful setting, with my son playing the game he loves best.  In fact, I'm certain that if you gave Jay the choice of a bad day on the baseball diamond or no day on the baseball diamond, he wouldn't hesitate to pick a bad day on the baseball diamond.  He's just happy to be in the arena.

I'm reminded of a song written by Kyle Matthews and made famous by Donnie McClurkin, "We Fall Down."  Here's the chorus:

We fall down, we get up.  We fall down, we get up.  We fall down, we get up.

And the saints are just the sinners who fall down, and get up.

We're so fortunate to be falling down and getting up in jubilant fields and joyful forests.  Why do we place all of our attention on the inevitable falling down?  I've spent too much time on what I didn't do (the Disney Princess half-marathon) that I completely lost sight of what I did do (became a runner for a sustained period of time!)  It reminds me of something we did with our boys when they were little.  Whenever they fell or tripped, Bart or I would say "Safe!" Then we would get them back up and send them on their way.  We wanted them to know that tripping or falling was a part of life and that it shouldn't slow you down.  Obviously I need to parent myself a bit here.

This takes me back to my turtle imagery.  Do you know how a turtle that has flipped on his back gets righted?  One way is to stick his neck out and move it around to build up momentum to flip rightside, but there is another way:

Click here to see a turtle help a friend!

Is there something you need to "get up" and do?  Join me!